I learnt from a very early age how different Debbie and i were,she was even allowed meat.I didn't deserve meat,but maybe one day when i stopped been so bad,i might be permitted to try,until then i could only imagine what it tasted like.I longed to taste the sunday roast,the warm sweet smell would drift all over the house,it was the nicest smell i ever smelled.my mouth would water in anticipation..I would watch as Debbie and my cousins tucked into theirs,i always sat at the side in the kitchen,because there was never room for me at the table,but i would watch through the hatch,secretly hoping they would drop it on the floor,at least that way sasha would get it.One morning i came downstairs first as usual,i cleaned out the firegrate then fed sasha.I stood watching this big cuddly alsation,my only friend in the whole world eating her meat.I moved closer knelt down beside her and took a mouthful of meat.Quick as lightening she nipped my arm,i screamed out,more in shock than amything.Sasha had never so much as scratched me before,but i guess i had over stepped the mark.The meat was disgusting,horrible not at all how i imagined it.Oh no mother was standing at the door,shouting at me for been such a nasty naughty evil child,how disgusting it was that i would steal from a poor animal.I couldn't deny it wouldn't have dared,she was still shouting and swearing at me,saying how the lord would want me punished.I was dragged into the living room by my hair,she banged my head against the table and i fell backwards into the sideboard.The corner of the sideboard hit me right in the middle of the back,the pain made me feel sick,but i was too afraid to say anything.Then very calmly mother told me to go wash the blood from my face before every one saw what a nasty dirty little bastard i really was. One evening i was upstairs cleaning my teeth when uncle Jerry announced he was fed up with our game now,he no longer found it exciting,i almost cried with relief.He dropped his trousers and had his thing in his hand again,i didn't know what was going to happen,but i had a feeling i wasn't going to like it whatever it was.He pulled me towards him and told me to kiss it,to kiss his willy.I shook my head said i didn't want to,but he said i was only a stupid kid and didn't know what i wanted.He smelled like a babies nappy,i told him i didn't like it.He tried to push it into my mouth,but i moved my head just in time.He grabbed me by the hair,yanking it really hard,as i screamed he forced his stinking willy into my mouth.He was forcing my head backwards and forwards,over and over again.I tried to pull away,but he had a firm grip,i couldn't escape.My mouth was really hurting and i started to feel sick.A warm sticky liquid hit the back of my throat,the vile taste made me gag.I was retching and gagging violently as he pulled it out ,but it was too late.I vommited all over him.He punched me in the stomach calling me a dirty little bastard,he cleaned himself up and walked out.I was left in agony face down on the floor crying for my daddy.Jerry came back into the bathroom ,he told me to stop whining,clean the floor,brush my teeth and fuck off to bed before he got really angry with me.I whispered i was going to tell my dad.he said i couldn't he wouldn't believe me anyway.Then he laughed and said that would prove to my dad what an evil little bastard i was,and then my dad wouldn't want me anymore and i would be locked in the marmalade home.I was so upset i dont even like marmalade was my only defense.I did as i was told and went to bed,pulling the pillow over my head so he wouldn't hear me crying,and i cried myself to sleep.This became the norm,dad would be working away,mother would be out,and jerry would be left to do just as he pleased.It was all very confusing as you can imagine.I didn't really know what was happening to me,or what i kept doing wrong to make it keep happening.All i knew was i got sadder and lonelier with each passing day.Sometimes i would sneak downstairs when every one was asleep,and curl up on the cold hard floor with sasha.This was the only time i felt warm and close to anyone or anything.If i cried sasha would give me a paw and lick away my tears.I loved sasha with all my heart,she was my only friend in the whole world.