. One day Jane's mum had asked mother if i could stay at theirs for tea,and she agreed on the condition i wasn't home late,cos i had chores to do.We played in janes room and outside with her dog,then her mum said tea was ready.We all sat down and i stared at the food on my plate,chips mushy peas and a chicken leg.I fidgeted with my knife and fork,still unsure how to really use them properly,and i was trying to work out how to actually eat the chicken.Janes dad saw i was uncomfortable,and told me to just do what i would at home,i grabbed my chicken and shot under the table.Silence filled the air,as he bent down and said you're not a dog,and we wont treat you like one,so come and sit at the table with us as part of the family.This was the first time i had sat at a family table,and had meat,other than that i had stolen from leftovers.I will never forget how good that meal tasted,or how warm it made me feel inside just been part of a family.
I was eight ,maybe nine when the second cupboard was brought into use,i was clearing out some stuff what had been thrown in there when we first moved in.Uncle jerry came in,and said it was judt big enough.When i asked what for he just laughed,and said whatever he wanted.He insisted on having a little wooden chair in the cupboard,and a tiny table,the sort you would stand a lamp on.A few nights later i was upstairs putting away the ironing when jerry appeared,and pushed me into the cupboard saying we needed to try it out for size and sound.He left the bedroom door open,so i wasn't too worried,as my sister and her friend were down stairs.Jerry told me to sit on the chair and stretch out both my arms and legs,as i did so he kicked the chair from under me.I cried out(more in shock than pain),he laughed and said lets go down.When we reached the living room he asked Debbie and her friend if they had heard me scream.Debbie shook her head,and her friend asked what had happened.Uncle jerry burst out laughing ,and said the fat little twat fell off the chair.My sister laughed,but her friend asked me if i was ok,i just nodded.She then went on to say she didn't think it was very nice to call me fat,or the other word,and maybe he had hurt my feelings.I smiled at her saying it was ok,then i sat down next to her,and somehow i felt bigger and sort of calmer.Jerry left saying he would see us tomorrow,ok was all i could say.Debbies friend didn't come round again after that night,and to this day i still think jerry told debbie not to bring her anymore,because she stood up to him,and stuck up for me!!The following day he brought a piece of carpet round,telling my dad he was making a study area for me in the cupboard,so i wouldn't loose my homework and stuff.Dad thought this was a great idea,and said how he was always spoiling me.Jerry laughed and saiid well she has always been my little star,and i will always do whatever i can to make sure she shines.Dad went off to work and jerry grabbed me by the arms,dragged me up the stairs,and told me it was time i showed some appreciation and shone.He ordered me to strip down to my underwear;i knew better than to argue,so i undressed without saying a word.Pointing at the cupboard he told me to get in,he lit a candle and placed it on the table.He started sucking and biting at my breasts,getting harder all the time,i told him it was hurting now,but he just laughed.He grabbed me roughly between the legs saying he could hurt me real easy,i nodded thinking you already do.Jerry took the chair out of the way,and pushed me to the floor.With the cupboard only been narrow i banged my head against the wall on my way down.He said i was trying to make someone hear,and now he would have to show me what happens if i try to draw attention to myself.I tried to tell him it wasn't deliberate,but he was having none of it.Pulling my legs apart he stood on my ankle.:try to move and i will fucking break it:he snarled.He laid the chair on its back then moved it towards me,i thought he was going to hit me with it,and im ashamed to say i wet myself with fear.Jerry called me a dirty stinking fucking whore,and said if thats the sort of thing i liked it wasn't a problem.He took his penis out and began to laugh,before urinating all over my face and body.I screwed my eyes tight shut,and retched as some entered my mouth,i felt the chair resting on my legs but daren't open my eyes incaes he peed again.Pain between my legs,he was trying to push the chair leg inside me,each time he tried the pain became more intense.He pulled my pants aside and rubbed soething inside me,before finally forcing the end of the leg into me.I screamed at him to stop,but he kept saying it was my fault,i had made him do it.He kept twisting the leg inside me,and i felt myself rip down below,he pulled it out and the pain took my breath away.He got on top of me and raped me ,it was burning and stinging,it hurt so much inside and out.I begged him to stop,but he didn't untill he was finished.He then told me again how it was my own fault,that i had made him do it.Then he very calmly he told me i should appologise then go get a bath,as i stank like a fucking pub toilet.I said sorry over and over again before he finally let me go.