I had so little confidence i found it hard to make friends,i found it almost impossible to trust teachers,or even my own judgement.The only time i felt confident and truly alive,was when i was singing at school.I could be who ever i wanted to be,i would stand tall and sing out loud and strong.To my suprise the music teacher told me i had a really good voice,and i should make good use of it.He would spend time with me,coaching me,training my voice to its best.If this happend to be after school.and i didn't get home before everyone,i would say i had detention,they would always believe me,i guess thats what was expected of me.I became so good at singing that i sang infront of the whole school solo.and totally at ease,then even at the local abbey.i was very proud of myself,but the dragon was less than impressed and said i must stop showing the family up.After a couple of months of saying no to staying behind after school.sir lost interest,he said i no longer sang from the heart,and i wasn't learning the songs fast enough.Sir just assumed i was out with friends having fun,and simply couldn't be bothered anymore.Truth been i had far to much to do at home,i wasn't sleeping very well so was just too tired to do anymore than i really had to.It felt like the older i got,the more difficult life got,and the less energy i had to live.I was thirteen now,and struggling with basic every day life.I was tired all the time,just doing the daily chores left me exhausted and vomitting.My dad became concerned at how pale i was getting,and ordered mother to take me to the doctors,of course she didn't bother but told dad it was just my body struggling with puberty,and nothing to worry about.Things carried on this way for a couple of months,then mother commented on how there wasn't much wrong with me,as i was putting on weight.I went for a lie down,but the dragon followed me,telling me to strip down to my underwear.Leave me alone can't you i snapped,do as you are told and lay on the bed,she replied.She asked if my breasts felt any different,i didn't know if i was meant to say yes or no,so i just shook my head.Then she placed her hands on my stomach and started pressing down here there and everywhere,she said i was a slut,a dirty fucking whore.Mother kept on swearing at me,calling me a slut,saying i had slept with boys from school.The more i swore i hadn't,the more she reigned blows down on me.Uncle jerry arrived sometime later,and i heard them whispering in the kitchen,he promised her he would sort things out before christmas(which was only a few weeks away).I stayed home from school under their supervision,and wasn't allowed to leave the house,not even when school broke up for the holidays.Every beating i got was directed at my stomach,but i was so stupid,i still didn't realise what was going on.