When the school holidays arrived it was aunt annie who looked after us all during the day whilst our parents worked.While the other kids went off playing in the woods,i was left behind alone as usual,apparantly still too little to play with them.Aunt annie called me in,she said if i showed her how i smoked a full cig,she would give me 2pence.My very own money,just for smoking a cig-bring it on.After that i would get 2pence every time i smoked infront of annies friends,or my grown up cousins,most of whome found it funny that a kid still in the infants could smoke like i had been doing it for ever.I was more than happy with the arrangement,it made me feel special and grown up,and it was something that the other kids couldn't do.When my sister found my stash of coins,she nearly broke her bloody neck to tell my mother,so much for our pact.Needless to say,mother assumed i had stolen them,i had committed yet another cardinal sin,so therefore i had to be punished,Her fist smashed into my face,splitting my lip again,my head bounced off the wall blood pouring from a gash in my temple,She told aunt annie why she had to smack me,and annie agreed stealing was a very serious thing and needed dealing with swiftly.As soon as mother went to work aunt annie told me i was a good girl,for not spilling our secret,and she gave me a drink of whiskey saying it would make my lip better.Wow drinking and smoking,who's all grown up now.I figured that if aunt annie thought i was a good girl,and knew i didnt tell tales,maybe i could tell her about uncle jerry.I waited until there was just the two of us sat in her house ,and i said "i don't like uncle jerry"Annie looked at me a very serious expression on her face and said,well thats not a very nice thing to say is it.I went on to say how he wasn't a very nice person,and how he hurts me real bad sometimes.She sat quiet for a few moments before telling me grown ups can't always be nice,and one day i will understand and be thankfull for jerry's guidance.Something inside told me to say no more.When jerry came round that night,he told mother i had been telling tales to annie,but it was ok because he told her what a handfull i was when i was missing my dad,and she agreed i needed pulling into line sometimes.Mother sent me to bed without anything to eat and said she would deal with me later,right now she had important things to do,like getting ready to go out.The minute she was gone uncle jerry came upstairs,he ripped my pants off,climbed on top of me and raped me.He was rougher than usual,he lifted one of my legs in the air,and tried to push his finger up my back passage,i screamed,he told me to shut the fuck up.He forced his finger inside my bum over and over again all the time he was still raping me.The familiar groan the final thrust,he got up put his trousers on and walked out,leaving me in a pool of blood again.I lay there sobbing quietly into my pillow,i wanted my dad so much.Uncle jerry came back into the room,he dragged me out of bed and with one smack i was hurled across the room,smashing into the wall.A scream escaped me,he dragged me into the bathroom and pushed my head into the freezing cold water.Struggling to breath i tried to lift my head,he pushed it further down.Pulling my head out he asked if i had had enough,shaking and stugggling for breath i nodded,whispering i'm sorry i promise to be good.He took me back to my room,threw me on the bed,and raped me for the second tome that night.When he had finished he stood up smirking,and said if i ever thought about telling anyone ever again he would kill sasha.I nodded and i believed he meant it.My dog was still my best friend in the whole wide world,and i couldn't let him hurt her.I had no choice,i had to put up with whatever was going to happen to me,and take whatever punishment came my way.
A banging sound woke me in the middle of the night,and i heard mother cry out.I ran into her bedroom and a man was on top of her,hurting her the same way uncle Jerry hurt me.I had to do something,i grabbed the mans hair and pulled with all my might,sinking my teeth into his shoulder.He screamed out;and for once i thought mother would be proud of me,but yet again i was wrong.She was shouting at me"you can't bare anyone to have a little bit of happiness can you!!"I didn't understand,when Jerry did this to me it didn't make me happy.The man grabbed his clothes;saying its not worth it,adding that kid's a fucking looney,it should be locked up.Mother got out of bed,and wrapping her dresssing gown round her,she walked over to me.She put her arms on my shoulders and guided me back to my room.She grabbed me between the legs,twisting and squeezing really hard,i screamed out,she laughed and said that was for spoiling her bit of fun,and if i didn't forget what i saw,there would be much more of that to come.The man left,and mother called me into her room,she was laid on the bed starkers.She asked if i really was sorry for spoiling her fun,i nodded and said sorry.Mother patted the bed and i climbed on,she took my hand and told me to rub her tush,i didnt know what she meant,so she put my hand between her legs,moving it in a rubbing motion.Using her hands to open it she told me to rub it hard and fast,she pushed my fingers inside her then into my mouth,asking do i taste good.It didn't but i nodded anyway,she told me to lick her down there,i said i didn't want to.My head was pushed down with such force,i thought it was going to fall off.Suck lick she ordered,i did as i was told,but then she brought her leg up and kicked me off the bed,saying i was fucking useless at that aswell,"fuck off out of my sight"she snarled,i didn't need telling twice,i was gone.Mother never made me touch her again after that,it was never mentioned,but i never forgot it.The next day i was cleaning out the fire grate,and i accidently dropped some ash on the carpet"useless cunt"she snarled as she hit my head off the fire grate.I was knocked out,when i came to,she said you know why i had to do it don't you.I nodded,but all i really knew was that if been a grown up meant been like them,then i didnt want to grow up.I didn't want to stay a child either,or i would never escape from uncle jerry,so i figured the best i could hope for was to die.