It was around this time that my dad decided we should go to sunday school,learn about the church of england as he tought us all about catholism.I didn't understand why we had to go,but once there i actually liked it.We played games,we sang songs,we got juice and sweets at the end,and no one got angry or shouted,or smacked.The lady in charge seemed to take a shine to me,she was always saying i was like a little doll,and always stroking my long dark hair.Sometimes i would say something and she would laugh,telling me i was a funny little thing.Making people smile made me feel good inside,so this became my aim in life,to be funny to joke around and make people laugh.Though this was very different to how i felt inside,in a way it helped me to forget how much i was hurting,and this is one of the things that still gets me through the darkest of times.My humour.One of the older naughty boys,found out my dad was catholic,and said he would teach me a good catholic song that would make both my dad and the local priest very proud of me.I concentrated so hard learning the song word for word,and couldn't wait to sing it to dad and father murphy,gullible i know but i announced to them both the following sunday i would sing to them after tea.I wasn't the slightest bit nervous as i stood at the end of the table and began to sing.Good evening father murphy hang your hat upon the wall,i tried to f-before i finished the next line my dad was shouting at me,father murphy clipped me round the ear and i was sent upstairs.Unaware it was a very rude crude disgusting song,i carried on singing it all the way upstairs,very proud of myself that i had rememberd it.I heard the front door close and my dad came up the stairs"what in gods name were you trying to do "he roared at me,just sing to father murphy i replied a little bemused by dads anger.He told me to follow him into the bathroom which i dutifully did,once inside dad got the wet carbolic soap and pushed it into my mouth.Spitting it out i started been sick,dad told me if i ever blaspheemed again or made a show of him like that i wouldn't know what had hit me.All i wanted to do was make them smile,make them proud of me,but all i had actually done was make them furious with me,i was so confused.The following sunday when the older boy asked me what they thought of the song,i told him they were cross with me,he laughed and told me to sing it to his friends.He was smiling he put his hands on my shoulders and said the little one is going to sing for us boys.I began to sing and they smiled,i sang louder and some of them started to laugh,then some of them sang along.It felt amazing,little did i know that Debbie my sister had gone and told the lady in charge i was singing bad songs,Alice came up and told the boys to go home,then she took hold of my hand and told me i must never say bad words because jesus would be dissapointed in me,and i wanted to go to heaven didn't i.Will i get to make people laugh there i replied.I dare say you will was Alice's responce.